Process not product

I teach a silkscreen class to young people ages 8-10 every Thursday after school. The class is full of 8 girls who are all smart, talented and full of energy.
The process that I am teaching is involved and takes patience and planning ahead. There is very little immediate gratification. Sometimes I feel like I am teaching a class about for-thought, self control and dealing with mistakes.

Silk screening calls for knowing what you want your end result to be and being willing to take lots of sometimes tedious steps in order to get there. It involves knowing what colors you want and what paper or fabric you want to work with. Also, cutting your own stencil out of contact paper with an exacto blade, and sometimes more than one. Then there is planning for registration, or lining up your paper properly so that your print comes out the way you want it. If that process is too much for you, then you have to create a plan that is abstract in some way so that it doesn't matter if it lines up properly, or just have no plan at all and go with the flow to see where the process takes you.
Sometimes this is difficult for a bunch of young ladies who want very specific things to be specific colors and in specific places on their page. The majority of these girls tend to be quite demanding young ladies and it is impossible for me to help them all at the same time, so I have them helping each other whenever possible. That seems to work quite well for most of these vivacious young ladies. Still, mishaps happen that cannot be avoided. Frustration occurs.
Overall, I have to say that most of them have very good plans and if they are able to work through their frustration, they will be happy with the results.
Another dynamic of the class is that we have a variety of personality and needs in the class. There are quite a few strong personalities who are not shy at all and have no problem asking for help when they need it. Which is a very good quality, but there is one very sweet, quiet and quite shy young lady in the class who sometimes gets overpowered by the other girls and happens to need the most help. I have her working on a simple plan that needs no registration and I came in today planning to help her first and still got sidetracked several times. In the end, she and I got together a very good start to what I think will be a very beautiful print.

Change of heart

A little over 2 years ago my heart was badly broken. My dreams were shattered. I was pregnant with my son and I have never been so sad and angry in my life. The joy and excitement of my baby was the light in my darkness. I am so blessed that my sweet baby boy was a happy baby right from the start, smiling in his sleep within the first week of his life.
It has taken me a while to move past my anger and broken heart.
I suppose I am still not completely past it, but I do think I am moving forward. I really did feel like my world had been blown apart and my hopes and dreams were shattered. It really was a tragedy.
Since then, I have found that I have changed, so many of my hopes and dreams have changed. Now There is a toddler in my bed and I can't even imagine a grown man in my bed. The idea of falling in love feels like a fantasy.
My goals as a parent and my personal goals haven't changed dramatically. They have evolved a little, but overall I hope to be able to spend as much time with my son as possible and watch him grow while continuing creating my art and teaching. I want to live life with my son happily.
However, I no longer see myself in a partnership. I am going at this on my own.
Maybe some day I will feel differently. Maybe someday I will find someone that I can live with and be partners with and share my joys with.
Maybe I won't feel quite so alone.
Maybe love will come into my life.
Until then it's just me and Little Bill.
There are plenty of sad moments, frustration, tantrums, and lots of struggles with finances.
For the most part, its a life full of snuggles and nursies, rain boots and puddles, booboos and kisses, giggles and hugs, tickles and silly dances.
My life has been rearranged and my heart has definitely changed.

Trapped in the basement

I desperately need space and time to create. I have only been able to work on pottery during my weekly pottery class and it just is not the same. I need time to relax and really focus on my art, meditate on what I want to create and take my time to create it.
My pottery wheel and tools have been sitting dormant in my mother's basement for 2 years now. I would really like to acquire a decent space to use my wheel and start creating pottery again.
I would have to schedule time to do it, sometime when I could get someone to entertain my boy so I could focus. I will be teaching a class on Saturday mornings soon, which is the only day that I don't have to pay for a babysitter. As soon as I get home, I will have to get William down for a nap, then maybe I could work on my wheel for a while because his father will be here and can keep him entertained.
I just have to find a space to plug my wheel in and work. The basement is way too crowded. There really is no space in this house where it would be allowed. It would take up way too much space and be way too messy.
I do have plans to move and maybe I will be able to set up a space for myself there, but I will still be living in someone else's house and I don't know if it will be something that I can do there. I just don't know until I ask. There is still over a month until we are meant to move in, so no matter what I am still stuck in this no-time-no-space to create situation.
It's a sad story.

Take your time

This was the message that was discussed in church today. Our society's need to slow down and do less multitasking. Take life one-step-at-a-time.
I know I need to take my time in life. Stop and smell the roses. Savor every moment with my little man and more often give him my undivided attention. Hug him as much as possible. He is so wonderful, right now.

I also need to take my time for me. A little meditation couldn't hurt. Time to reflect. As an artist, I think this is important for the creative process and just for a generally healthy spirit.
I need to take time to create. Get my pottery wheel spinning again. It has been sitting dormant for so long. Because of that, the only pottery that I do is during my weekly wheel throwing class. It's something, but it just isn't the same as having time to create just for the sake of creating. Because my spirit loves it. It feeds a fire deep inside me. Any kind of creating, pottery, print-making, drawing, painting, photography, knitting, all feed my soul in a way that nothing else can.

I have had less time to create since my son was born and I need to set aside time in my life for creating. I need to do so in a way that I am not taking time from him or multitasking. I do not want to multitask.
I want to take my time. Enjoy every moment. Be fully present when I am spending time with my joy boy. Also fully present when I am creating.
I feel that I will get the most out of life if I am able to live it that way, in a hurry, but with intent and awareness.
I feel that will connect me with the Goddess - God - Great Spirit - All the Powers that Be. That energy that is inside me ready to flow through my heart and hands in creation or simple toddler learning play time.
I know that taking my time will help me achieve my goals of self betterment. It will increase my happiness overall. Better yet, it will help me be a good roll model for my son.

The Love of my Life

Sweetest baby born to a broken-hearted Mama, was just the balm to heal. A warm bundle of love snuggled at my breast. My tears of sorrow transformed to tears of joy.

Hearts beat together in a loving embrace. His tiny fist grasps my thumb, squeezing gently to the rhythm of his suckle. The brand new love of my life, my sweet baby boy.
Time is passing so quickly and my tiny baby is transforming before my eyes. Walking, running and stomping in puddles, there is double meaning when I yell, "Slow down!"
So bright and so sweet, my little boy amazes me every day and makes me proud. With new words everyday and new games to play.
Dumping dinosaurs on the floor saying, "Dido. Help." I am so blessed that he wants me to join in his play. I know the day that he will not want me as his playmate is not far away.
He walks in the room with his tin can drum making me laugh with his words, "Drum, loud." And yes, the sweet and funny way that he inhales the word, "Nurse." He still stops in between games for a snuggle and to suckle from my breast.
With my life filled with giggles, hugs, booboo kisses and wiping tears, I am well aware that 22 months will too soon be 2 years. Right now, these moments are the best.

A Batty Dream

 Earlier this week I had a very strange and inspiring dream.
Walking on the street where I grew up, I see that there is a tree in the front yard were there never was when I was growing up. From a distance, it looks like there are light orange glowing lanterns hanging from the tree. As I walk, I approach another tree and see that it's branches were also covered with several of these lanterns.
Then as I got closer I could see that they were not lanterns, but extremely large butterflies. With each step closer, I could see more detail. Eventually I stood under the tree and I could get a closer look at these creatures. There were several of these beautiful light orange creatures hanging from the tree. As I looked closer I could see that they had tiny bat bodies and wings of a Monarch butterfly, all hanging upside down from the branches. A few of these Batterflies took flight. It was an amazing sight. They were so graceful and beautiful. Their wingspan was impressive and so delicate. It was so magical. I was not afraid of them . I was in awe of these beautiful animals. How magical they seemed.

When I awoke and had time to reflect upon this dream, I felt it had strong spiritual significance. I did searches on dream interpretation and was left unsatisfied. I still want to find meaning for this dream that was so vivid and I think full of meaningful symbols.

After my dream, my mind was flooded with ideas for future art projects. Lanterns made of clay and maybe some of paper. Paintings and sculptures of trees with lanterns hanging. Paintings and prints of the butterfly-bats hanging and in flight. A clay bat with glass Monarch wings would be nice.
So many ideas so little time.
Today during February vacation week classes as The Worcester Art Museum, I taught a class with young people titled, "Things That Fly" and I created my first Batterfly. I made the bat body with rolled up dark grey fabric and string. I made the wings with two bent wire hangers covered with light orange crepe paper and then painted with black lines. It was a blast!

Maybe I should offer a class on creating art from dream imagery.

Artist's statement

  I am an artist with a variety of interests; painting, knitting, quilting, bead-work, and jewelry, fusing glass, and making sculptures. I am most passionate about printmaking and working with clay. I build teapots: some of my teapots are simple and functional. Others are detailed and sculptural. They are described as, beautiful, wacky, elegant, and whimsical. They each are unique. My printmaking is mostly reduction style block prints cut from linoleum blocks, but I also enjoy creating silk screen prints as well as etchings and dry point engravings when a press is available for me to work with.  

  My other interests include art history and women’s studies. Art history gives a view into cultures of the past and helps the artist understand the origins and futures in the art world. Art history inspires me to see my work in context. I believe that women’s studies are vital for women artisans; personally, politically and socially. The history of women and the progress of the women’s movement along with the issues women continue to face, inform my artwork and the work of my peers.

  My spiritual life leads me to study the Goddess myth which inspires my artwork. Building ceramics is spiritual; it enables me to connect with nature. Here, the four elements enter; earth in the form of clay, water  to soften it, air to dry green ware and fire to harden. Inspired by the natural world and mythology I continue to use these themes in my art.

   I graduated in December 2003 with a Bachelor of fine art degree from Humboldt State University. I have been teaching art for art centers and art museums for 7 years. I have worked with all ages of art students, ranging as young as 3 years old and as old as 83. Most of my teaching experience is with elementary and middle school age young people. I am passionate about teaching and sharing my love of the arts with others. I want to offer my students more; a good teacher is never finished learning. Teachers are the ones who've influenced my life most dramatically. I strive for a similar affect on my students.

  Lately, I teach a bit less often than I used to because my time has been taken up by my most important and most rewarding job, being mom to a beautiful and amazing toddler boy.
 I am so blessed.